mom: you can’t lie in bed all day and do nothing you have chores to do
me: close my door on your way out
Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed
when white boys make fun of girls getting drunk im kinda just like but have you seen white boys wasted. they start rapping and whispering into girls necks and start yelling racist shit to people on the street. when girls get wasted it just means we’re all super nice to each other in the bathroom and dance to beyonce
[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
I wish I went to TV highschool where u get to show up ridiculously overdressed and the classes only last 45 seconds before the bell rings and u get 10 minutes of passing time in which to have deep heart-to-hearts with your friends
you want a promo????? oh, i thought you said you wanted a porno haha should probably put my clothes back on now hahaha….
the only people who ever call me pretty are either old or online
Is the alphabet called the alphabet because the first two letters in the Greek alphabet are alpha and beta?
Are there literally 75,000 people who did not realize this?
Get the fuck off your high horse yes clearly that many people didn’t know that about the fucking Greek alphabet sit down and shut the fuck up